I can live with less of it for now.
I am upset with GOD if there is one.
Why is providence against me?
I was just pulling a fast one. In my books, there are many GODS, and they have been more than merciful. I have no two thoughts about that in my mind, and as I age, I have moved from conditional surrender to unconditional surrender to ‘The Mighty Almighty.’ I wonder why it is always ‘The Mighty Almighty’ as I feel Almighty would suffice.
I had 95% success rate with Quid Pro Quo arrangement with GOD. I cleared all my exams owing to temples rather than any academic rigor.
However, of late I have been wondering if I am subjected to more Headwinds than I possibly deserve.
As a self-proclaimed entrepreneur, which increasingly seems to be a euphemism for being fiscally unproductive, I am facing a behemoth of challenges and too lazy to address them. I am wondering if I have grossly overestimated by capabilities, ignoring all the forewarning I had got. I am running out of time, and any path that I have taken seems to hit some roadblock or another.
As someone who has taken up to finish the half marathon in two hours and twenty minutes, I seem to be struggling around two hours and fifty minutes. Any technique I am trying does not seem to work.
At home, after having broken twenty-one years of the routine of not seeing me from nine to nine, they are fed up with my continuous presence from nine to nine!. They are civilized enough not to mention that, but you do not get to gray hair without some degree of perception. Do you?
I attempt to take an OLA auto, and the auto person refused to take me after hearing I will pay by OLA money. I told him that I would cancel OLA and pay him cash to which he readily accepted and on further inquiry, he revealed that he got money after five days and that too after begging. I wonder why he cannot be paid the same instant and cannot make out if the technology is a boon or bane.
With my kids growing faster than normal I am reminded of the following cartoon from Calvin and Hobbes, too proud to accept ‘ I don’t know’ to their increasing variety of questions on any subject. They seem to be wondering, how this fellow cleared his matriculation!
My close friends of years, cannot fathom what I am up to. They just cannot see me doing nothing. They just think I am in some stealth mode when I am in no mood for any mode at all.
I think I am getting closer to an answer.
All this while, it has been tailwinds, and I did not have the gratitude to realize.
Except when sitting on an airplane, we do not realize the tailwinds. Do we?
We somehow feel the tailwinds are getting ahead of us, but not taking us with it. However, when it comes to headwinds, oh God, why me?
Have we been ever thankful for the tailwinds?
I also realize why is that I am feeling the headwinds.
I think it is something which is inside me called ‘Resistance.’ I am resisting it instead of navigating it. Providence has no role although I cannot completely get over it.
I think I will enjoy the headwinds if I start taking baby towards moving instead of resisting it and somehow have this illogical feeling of that I will enjoy the headwinds more than the tailwinds.
What do you think?
Headwinds or tailwinds, my current mindset seems to be more like the classic song Lift Karadey (Lift me up) by Adnan Sami.
Enjoy Maadi (Have Fun)