I have permission to write this from my spouse.
She has granted this permission after due deliberation. We just completed seventeen years of married life. It takes ten years for a marriage to work. She thinks after that it does not matter.
Every morning in my house is like unfolding the last page of a mystery novel.
The suspense that gets broken is, will my kids make it to the school bus in time?
On a different note, it is how emotions get built between mother and children. My wife enacts a cinematic scene, rushing out with her morning dish in one hand, running and feeding both the kids at the same time.
You would have heard about women being better at multitasking. I agree.
I, on the other hand, cannot stand this drama. This daily drama has been going on for twelve person-years, and the Coalition of my wife and kids overrule my request of stopping this daily drama.
When one of those rare days I have to pack the kids for school, there is no drama, and they are ten minutes early for the bus.
My son argues that it is a waste of time going early. My daughter wants me to stay with her till the bus comes and keep listening to her non-stop banter. I have to pay the price for making things ready ten minutes in advance.
When I pride myself on how I could do this, my wife gives me a harsh rebuke.
She says I am too mechanical and predictable. She also adds that I am a machine and there is no element of thrill. Kids support her vehemently. They are smart enough to be on the good side of economics and especially with my wife being the breadwinner; they know where power lies.
I have given up my fight on this.
A couple of days back, I was getting ready for my morning walk, and witnessed this cinematic scene enacted, and my neighbor was sympathetic enough of my wife doing this daily drama and uttered something to comfort to my wife.
My wife being the perfect Aries, quipped back with “The pressure cooker took the time to let the steam out” and she said that was the reason for the last minute hurry to the neighbor. On a side note, I love Arians. Many people I respect and learn from are Arians. They have this unique quality. You will have zero chance of making them accept they are wrong.
“The pressure cooker took the time to let the steam out.”
I lost it there.
However, zero black hair in my head has taught me discretion is the better part of valor. I had the option of ‘fixing’ the cooker which I knew was an innocent victim in this or I can tread carefully and take this up with my wife.
A morning walk clarifies many things, and I was determined to settle this before she goes to work.
I can be gracious at times and this time I came back and asked her about the statement she made. I appealed to her in a very different way.
After the usual line of defense from her, she sensed exasperation in me and let out the magic two words
“My Fault.” I should have kept the cooker earlier!.
They are the magic two words and two most powerful words to see through anything in your life.
I am not urging you to be the sacrificial lamb or even remotely anything related to that.
When you start with the premise of “Mea Culpa,” life changes for better, as one thing you will start doing is start taking ownership.
Try this experiment in any sphere of your life.
Just change the frame of reference from ‘You are wrong’ to ‘I could be wrong.’
I have not mastered this, and I have many pitfalls in practicing this, but having this position has given me a framework for taking responsibility and setting a bias for action.
Do you agree?
If yes, then start this small experiment. Do not use the time-honored excuse of traffic for going late to meetings!
If no, then it is Mea Culpa.
Before I wind up, I have to admit that I am signing off with a sense of fear, as I know the second quality of Arians. They will get ‘Even’!
Enjoy Maadi (Have Fun)