Continuing on from where I left off last week, it is important to possibly answer the ‘Why’. I am repeating that these are my own feelings shared for God knows what. I think I might make some sense in the end if you endure through this.
I botched up a sabbatical opportunity during 2013. I had signed up for the ‘Teach for India’ program, got through it, despite they selecting younger lot of people. The great people at my office consented for the sabbatical, but I chickened out at the last minute.
I have been fortunate enough to be with a very good set of people who cheered me despite my many short comings. They consoled my chickening out and set the course for me to move on.
I did continue with my usual energy, but somewhere, something started to linger in my head. It is not the quintessential question of ‘Who am I’ , but ‘What Am I really made of?’ and in a year I had come up with the following list
- My position in the organization, demanded someone who can make radical improvements and not incremental ones. In a way, I realized this before I was made to realize this !
- My team demanded a new leader who can give them a fresh perspective of technology and life
- The stalwarts in my team needed a way to see they could grow
And above all, I needed to discover the answer to ‘Why did I chicken out’ ?
I consulted my then boss and a good mentor as well , Mao (Manoranjan Mohopatra), and he was kind enough to give me an extremely large window possibly to test the resolve of my decision. On my repeated nudging, he possibly understood that this time around I have passed his test of showing resolve, he set me a date of mid 2015 and granted me a gracious exit, promising all kinds of help in anything I wanted personally and professionally. I do reach out to him occasionally and get the necessary support.
John Wooden, the legendary basket ball coach, writes
“Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
So in short, I think the Why is to discover
‘What is my own character?’ and to be true to myself, I guess I am on a bouncy wicket.
I came across an increasing video forward on whatsapp and enclosing it below.
The video is a nice little talk on ‘Remember, who you are’
I think I get the Styrofoam part of it now. I did not realize it when I was being given a royal send off and I shall write about that in the next edition.
Enjoy Maadi. (Have Fun)